Family Center - A Trucker's Wife

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I am a newbie at this. My husband and I have only been married for two years. I was a waitress at a truck stop when I met him, my knight in shining armor. He did his best to describe the life to me. Me being so in love with him, I thought I could handle anything.

The beginning was easy, I would wait with bated breath for him to come rolling in home and it was bliss all over again. Then I would cry when he left. Each time the leaving became easier and the home time became harder. I would sit and ponder this thought, and wonder "why?" Was it because I had to live my life without him and when he did come home my life could no longer stop?

Last year, we got our own authority and I began to dispatch him and this truly tested our marriage. I had to push him, tell him "no, we could not do this or that to the truck" because the money was not there. I felt the business consume our marriage. We decided to lease on to someone else to try to save what was left of us. During our attempt to run our business, there were times when he was gone for more than a month and when he was home, we could barely connect.

I longed for the times when we first met and everything was so connected. Now that he is running for someone else again, I had hoped that things would not be so strained between us. I was wrong handing over our financial stability to someone else again and not knowing if they understand what our truck has to make.

I have come to the conclusion that this is just trucking and you have to stop the world and treasure your time together. When your husband comes home and parks the truck, you have to try to park your life as well and make the best of the day or two you have been given, almost like having the world in your hands for 48 hours. My husband is the most wonderful person. He gives his best for our family. I only wish we had the chance and time to be who we were when we met.

I have had a hard time overcoming the loneliness I feel when he is gone. We moved to South Dakota, away from both of our families. I really find it hard to associate with families that are not truckers. It is hard to be a third wheel at barbeques or parties and such. Always there alone, or I don't go and then I sit at home alone, always longing for his companionship as well as missing my family. It consumes me sometimes. I just wish more people would understand who the real truckers are and not go on the assumptions and the stereotypes. It is a true sacrifice on them, as well as their families to keep our country moving. I just want to say to all the wives, keep your strength and faith, and to the truckers, we respect you.

A Trucker's Wife is a column that is written by a different guest writer each month. If you would like to share your thoughts and feelings with other homefront spouses email us at imatruckerswife@layover.com .